


Legacy, The

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode: s03e08 The Women of Qumar, Episode: s03e09 Bartlet for America, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-29
Updated: 2006-03-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:29:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: She pulled back, suddenly realizing that his hands were under hersweater, her hands were tugging at his shirt buttons, and that she desperately needed to change her underwear. They couldn't do this. It was only going to lead to disaster for both of them.





	Legacy, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**The Legacy**

by: Vega 

**Character(s):** CJ Cregg  
**Pairing(s):** Leo/CJ  
**Category(s):** General   
**Rating:** ADULT  
**Disclaimer:** If Leo McGarry and CJ Cregg belonged to me, I'd be a much richer woman than I am now. But, alas, they were created by Aaron Sorkin and are held onto by John Wells and Co., so I can only take them out and play with them from time to time. I promise they'll be a bit dirtier when I put them back. I also promise that I don't make any money off of this. Again, if I did, I'd be a richer woman.  
**Summary:** She pulled back, suddenly realizing that his hands were under her sweater, her hands were tugging at his shirt buttons, and that she desperately needed to change her underwear. They couldn't do this. It was only going to lead to disaster for both of them.  
**Spoiler:** 3-08 The Women of Qumar, 3-09 Bartlet for America   
**Written:** 2006-03-13  


**Chapter 2: The Legacy**

October 31, 1979 

Chicago, Illinois 

The sirens woke him – three fire engines racing down the street. It was the dead of night, the reds and whites reflected on the bedroom walls. He sat up, gasping, forgetting where he was. The sheets tangled around his body and he fell as he fled from the confining bed, a bed he couldn't recognize. Where was he? What was that noise? Where were the sirens? He made it to the door, the sirens started to fade. At the stairs he recognized his own house. By the time he reached his study, he needed a drink. 

She'd woken with the sirens, but waited, knowing that he would do as he'd done – lurch from bed and head down to his sanctuary. Only after the lights had faded completely, did Jenny rise, and go to save face. She didn't want Mallory's visit home from school to be ruined by finding her father passed out on the living room couch. 

"Leo?" 

She found him in his study, accompanied by a stack of briefs, a tumbler glass, and a half empty bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. But, despite the work piled in front of him, it was clear his mind was a million miles away - and from the look in his eyes, he was back in Hanoi. 

It killed her. They'd barely had any time together before he left for the war, and when he came home the first time, he wasn't anywhere near the same man he'd once been. But after his second tour had ended, she knew that the man she'd married was long gone, killed somewhere in that Vietnam jungle. So much of his soul had died, and he was murdering the rest with that damned scotch. She knew he felt guilty, that he felt he should have died with his men, and she also knew that he would never talk to her about it. Every time she tried to broach the subject, he shut down or yelled. So she let him hide in his work and his alcohol and just let him exist back in that jungle. 

Patiently, she stood in the doorway to the study, waiting until he recognized her. Tonight it took longer than usual, and she was about ready to give up when his tortured blue eyes turned to look at her. "God, Jenny, how long have you been there?" 

"Not long." She lied. "Honey, come back to bed." Part of her wanted to entice him with the naked body under her robe, but he was drunk and the fact that he couldn't perform when drunk would only make him angry. She didn't want a fight. 

"In a few minutes." 

"Leo ..." she clamped down on her tone. "All right. Just don't be up too late, all right?" After placing a soft kiss to the top of his head, she moved back up the stairs, knowing that he'd pass out on his couch. Before climbing back into bed, she set her alarm for an hour earlier so that Mallory wouldn't wake up to see her father in the condition he was bound to be in in the morning. If anything, she could close off the study. 

***

Dayton, Ohio 

Thirteen-year-old CJ Cregg sat on the curb, huddled into her coat against the chill of the wind. For an emergency room admitting area, the bay was surprisingly quiet, save for the distant wail of a siren that grew closer with each breath. 

Inside, her father was talking to the doctors and the administrators and her brothers were ... she didn't know where. But she needed to be here. Alone. Maybe in the silence and the snow she'd be able to hear her mother's voice again. Next to her, in the gutter of the curb, were her ice skates. She should have been here, but no, she'd had to be at practice. Going to the Olympics was more important than sitting with her mother. At least she'd been able to say good-bye. 

"Hey, Kidlet." Timothy Cregg plunked down next to his sister. Out here he could blame the tears and the sniffles on the cold. "You okay?" When CJ just shrugged, he slipped an arm around her. "You know something, mom would have been proud of you today. You landed a triple axle, that's unheard of for girls your age." 

CJ sat, silently, listening to the approaching siren. 

"She really would have been proud of you, Ceej. She was proud of you. You were her golden star." He sniffed. "Ceej ... say something." 

"What do you want me to say?" The girl looked up at her brother. "Mom's dead and I was landing triple axels when I should have been here." Lights started to reflect on the bay walls – reds and whites, the sirens alerting the ER doctors that someone else was in need of care. The two teenagers remained where they were. CJ just stared up at the flashing lights, blinking against the brightness, the siren's wail echoing in her ears. "Mom would have wanted us to go trick or treating tonight. She told me that I should wear my old skating costume." She blinked as the ambulance lights shut off, leaving everything silent and still once again. "I should have been here." 

***

Washington DC, 2001 

"Leo?" CJ poked her head into his office. Ten thirty on a Saturday night and they were both still here. She'd come up on the premise of asking him to review the press releases, but since Margaret wasn't in the outer office, she tucked the releases away and walked in. She didn't need to pretend if Margaret wasn't out there. "You sent Margaret home?" 

"Bruno asked to borrow her for something," Leo said absently. And when CJ started to giggle at that, he looked up, confused. "What?" 

"Nothing." Was Leo really that oblivious to Margaret's personal life? "Hey, I'm about to head out but do you want to come over tomorrow morning? With the mandatory personal day you just assigned to all of us, I figured you had some time on your hands and I know you'll be doing the crossword puzzle and watching the shows and I figured you could also cook me breakfast." She grinned playfully. 

It took a lot for Leo to come up with a response to that. But, before he did, he closed the file he'd been reading. This one was close-hold to CJ, at least until the Pentagon leaked the information. There wasn't a person this side of the planet who didn't know CJ's feelings about the Middle East, especially Qumar. He had a feeling it was personal, but had been hesitant to ask. 

She looked fantastic, standing there in a pair of jeans (when had she changed from work clothes?) and a low cut, baggy sweater over her camisole. Why did she do this to him? Why, when they'd set up such rigid rules about their relationship, about how it was supposed to work, why did she come around him looking like that? "You mean, you're actually asking me over to our usual Sunday morning? What, am I in trouble or something? Or do you need a time from me so that you can make sure that Danny's out of your apartment?" He grinned when she rolled her eyes. 

"Just for that, I'm going to leave you wondering." 

"You've already told me how much the sound of George Stephanopoulos' voice turns you on. So, I just need to know, do I come before he starts talking, or after?" 

CJ blushed and he just grinned and stepped in closer. Maybe it was the building sexual tension and maybe it was because Margaret wasn't out in her office, but something was changing tonight. It wasn't anything different - this was their usual conversation, she always teased him like this and he always went home and jacked off in the shower for a good half hour. He wanted her to take him home now and then he'd be right there for breakfast in the morning. They hadn't made love since Manchester, and he'd only been able to touch her, barely, a few times since then – when in situations like this he couldn't keep his hands, or his lips off of her. He knew they were just supposed to be friends, but it didn't change his feelings. "Pancakes or French toast?" He grinned. Friends it was, it had to be. They both knew there was something more there, but they also weren't ready to act on it. 

"French toast." CJ fought the urge to grab him by his shirtsleeves and wrap herself around him. She was wearing one of her looser camisoles underneath a low cut sweater, and the bra was flimsy and she wanted nothing more than for him to take advantage of her right there on his desk. Yes, she'd changed into jeans once the Saturday Press Corps went home; they were her tight, low riding jeans and she knew he'd been watching her. "I'll provide the preparation, you bring yourself." 

Looking into her eyes, Leo took advantage of the charged atmosphere and nodded just over her shoulder. "Close the door, CJ." 

"Leo ..." She knew that look in his eyes, she shared the feelings, but they'd been getting too close lately. Two days ago he'd had her stay after the end of day staff meeting and her blouse had ended up on the floor and her nipples between his teeth. Lately all their time was spent touching and kissing, despite their continuing mantra that they were just friends. Maybe tomorrow wasn't such a good idea. 

She stopped arguing with herself as he pinned her back against the door and his mouth attacked hers. For a minute she lost herself in his lips, and she could hear her inner demons arguing that she needed to just give in to her feelings for him and let it all go. But, she pulled back suddenly, realizing that his hands were under her sweater, her hands were tugging at his shirt buttons, and that she desperately needed to change her underwear. They couldn't do this. It was only going to lead to disaster for both of them. At least, they couldn't do it here. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his mouth still too close to her ear. The breath on her ear lobe made her knees weak. 

"Don't apologize ... I just ..." she caught her breath. "We've talked about this. We ..." 

"And yet, it keeps happening." 

"Just ... not here ... not right now, okay?" She pulled away and opened the door. "I'll see you in the morning." 

Leo waited until she was out of sight before slumping back behind his desk. He didn't know what do to with these feelings – hell, he wasn't used to dealing with feelings at all. But ever since that night, when he'd seen her out on that patio, when he'd felt her moving under him, something had been different, and it wasn't just his imagination. Something had changed, and it wasn't that he'd seen her naked. From somewhere, a siren sounded, and his heart raced for just a second. He was in new territory here, and he didn't know just how long he could avoid the song he was hearing. 

It wasn't until she was behind the wheel of her mustang that her breath started to calm, but her heart was beating hard enough that she didn't even hear the approaching siren until the ambulance blared it's horn so that it wouldn't hit her. This couldn't keep happening. It couldn't. Leo was her boss and she couldn't compromise her position, the position of the administration, or the sanctity of the White House as they were all being hauled in front of juries and committees. Only after the ambulance had passed did she pull over to the side of the road and really give herself a minute to catch her breath. Something had to change. Something. 

***

1984 

Berkeley, California 

He hardly paid attention as the ambulance roared by, sirens blaring at full strength. Then again, he was hardly sober enough to register the sound. Right now, he wasn't exactly sure where he was or how he'd made it to this bar, but all he cared was that they were serving drinks and they didn't bother him while he worked. Before him was a brief. Case law. And Mallory ... Mallory was ... at the hotel? With Jenny? That's right. It was a hotel. A hotel bar. They'd toured Stanford today. He ordered another drink. What was it with the sirens in this town? 

***

She didn't know what it was that woke her, the distant sirens, the beep of the machines she was hooked up to, or the intense stare of the man whose eyes she was looking into as the world again came into focus. She didn't know him, but he looked faintly familiar. She'd seen that beard and those brown eyes somewhere, but she couldn't place where. 

"Welcome back," he whispered, his voice was that bedroom husky. "Welcome back. I'm Toby. Toby Zeigler. I live in your building. I saw you fall. I didn't know who to contact so I just stayed here." 

She wanted to scream, to find out what had happened. But when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. Toby gave her an ice chip and helped her sit up and pushed the call button, but she still didn't know what was wrong. Her abdomen was on fire, and all she could remember was falling – had she been pushed? – falling down the stairs and then the sound of sirens. 

***

2001 

Washington, DC 

"Happy Sunday." CJ grinned at him as she opened the door. And, as usual, he took her breath away. He stood there in a pair of worn blue jeans and a white button up shirt, holding a couple of grocery bags, and his copy of the New York Times. "Leo, you didn't have to bring anything, I told you that." 

"Sue me." He laughed and stepped into her apartment. Gone was the emotional tension from last night. The sexual tension, however, was thick enough to brush away from his face. After setting the bags down in the kitchen, he turned to look at her and wondered if he'd be able to get through the day without touching her, or if after last night, she was having the same thoughts he was. "Danny get out of here okay?" He had to break the silence with something, anything besides the voices of the press pundits. He wanted to break the silence by telling her that he wanted more than heavy petting sessions in his office and lingering Sunday conversations over the New York times – but he just wasn't sure what more he wanted and he wasn't sure how to bring the subject up to her. As it was, when CJ was standing there in front of him in a pair of baggy jeans that rested barely on her hips, a loose camisole, and a baggy button down shirt open over it, and he could see for sure that that she wasn't wearing a bra, all he really wanted was to bend her over and have his way with her. So, to compromise, he stepped forward, put his hands on her hips, and kissed her gently. 

CJ pulled away first, "So what did you buy, hmm?" 

"Well, I figured you'd have the breakfast supplies, but, I didn't know how long I'd be here." Leo blushed as he revealed without saying anything specific that he wanted to spend the day here. "Thought I'd bring supplies for dinner too. I hear the Sunday games --" This time it was CJ who interrupted with a kiss, and Leo was the one to break away first. "Got coffee?" He asked after tucking a lock of her hair back behind her ear. 

"Yeah." 

They listened to the TV with half an ear, but Leo was more interested in watching CJ as she leaned against the counter and she was more interested in toying with the strap of her camisole. She sipped at her coffee – a strong, dark roast with just a hint of cream and a splash of sugar. He'd always taken his black, and strong enough to stand a spoon in. She made it just the strength he liked. "Hey, I ... I got something for you." He grinned and stepped forward. 

"And what's that?" She set the coffee down and gave him her full attention. 

Allowing himself to build on the tension, he stepped a hair closer. "It's just tucked into a pocket." 

CJ took the bait and reached both hands into his front pockets. Her left hand emerged victorious, holding a small baggie that contained a simple, elegant, teal barbell stud for her belly button. "Leo!" She grinned. "This is beautiful!" 

"You like it? Really?" At first, Leo blushed. When he'd found it, he hadn't been sure if he should give it to her or not. He didn't know how she felt about her jewelry, but this was something that connected them and he wanted to share it with her. 

"It's perfect." She held the cat's eye ball up to the light and smiled. "You want to put it in?" 

He balked a bit. 

"Come on," CJ grinned, "I dare ya." She took his hand and led him back into her bathroom. His hands were shaking as she handed him the small saline bottle. "Just crack the top and pour it over all the parts of the barbell." She smiled, her hands lingering over his. After looking at her for a long moment, he complied with her instructions and then set the jewelry down on the gauze pad she'd laid out. "Okay, come here." Again, she took his hands and this time guided them to her abdomen. He quickly figured out how to unscrew the blue barbell that she wore and carefully, slid the piece of metal out of her body. 

"You never told me why you pierced your stomach," he said, his words whispered against her belly. "You promised me one night, but never came through on it." 

"Someday," CJ said, closing her eyes for a moment. "Someday you'll get to figure out why." 

Leo looked up at her and when he saw her closed eyes and the pain registered on her face, he let the subject go. Something had happened, something that was as painful to her as his wounds in Vietnam had been to him. Gently, he slid the new piece of body jewelry into place, twisted it tight, and then leaned forward to kiss the faint scar that ran vertically along her stomach. Something told him that the scar and the piercing were related. He ran his finger around her belly button, caressing softly, and watching her stomach muscles react to his touch. It was the most sensual experience he'd ever had, and by the time he was done, kneeling on the floor in front of her, with his breath on her stomach, they were both ready for more than French toast. 

Leo breathed in, inhaling the scent of her arousal. Slowly, he unbuttoned the jeans and slid the zipper down to reveal a pair of see through panties. 

CJ had gone from playfully wanting to painfully needing. While bracing herself against the wall with one hand, she took one of his hands and, with linked fingers, helped him push her panties aside. For most people, this wouldn't have been the most romantic moment in the world, but for the two of them, it brought them even closer to that line they refused to acknowledge. 

Remaining on his knees, ever subservient to her, Leo tugged her jeans down and with his free hand, hitched her leg up over his shoulder. Their combined fingers and his mouth on her brought her quickly to the point of orgasm. But he pulled back in the last seconds, leaving her teetering dangerously on the edge of oblivion. "Leo ..." CJ hissed, reaching for his shoulder, anything to continue balancing on. Her knees were going week and her leg was going to be stretched out in painful ways later on. It didn't take long for her to realize what he was doing – suddenly his entire face was pressed between her thighs, and his tongue alone drove her completely over the edge. As she gasped, trying to catch her breath, he sucked and teased, taking in all her juices. "Oh god," she whispered, clinging to him as he helped her to regain her balance. "Oh god." Her next words were drowned out by her own scent and taste as Leo captured her mouth with his own. 

CJ moaned, tasting herself on his lips. The salt of her body and the sweetness of his - apple juice was it - sent shivers down her spine. She ran her hands along his body, and kissed him deeper as she caressed the bulge in his jeans. Still kissing him, she loosened his pants and slipped her hand inside, caressing him. Leo, for his part, braced himself against the wall (trapping her between his arms), and moved his hips in time with her hand as she pumped him. Right before he came she stopped, breaking the kiss for the first time, and dropped to her knees to take him in her mouth. CJ took all of him down her throat, not even choking as he spilled into her. She sucked him dry, cleaned him off, and then put him back together again. When she found her feet, he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her once more. 

"Is it incredibly chauvinistic of me to like it when you're down on your knees like that?" Leo stroked her face once they'd both caught their breath. 

"Yeah," CJ smiled shyly and toyed with his chest. "But it's sexy the way you try to dominate me." She flashed a grin and squirmed away, walking back out into the kitchen. They'd worked up an appetite just by putting in her new jewelry, and George Stephanopoulos had long stopped talking. She flipped off the sports show and perched on the counter, sipping her coffee, while Leo set about making breakfast. "Thank you for the jewelry, Leo." 

He smiled at her, still smelling everything about her on his body. "You're welcome. Thank you for showing me how to put it on." He wanted to ask again, where it came from, but he just didn't have the balls to push her any further than where she'd taken him. 

CJ followed the movement of Leo's hands as he cracked the eggs into the bowl. Everything about this man turned her on, and it was a very bad thing. What was she going to do tomorrow when they had to be professional again? What were today's actions going to do to the professional relationship they were trying to hard to maintain? "Did you ever play truth or dare when you were younger?" CJ asked, trying to smile. She wanted to tell him, suddenly needed to tell him, but she wasn't sure how to bring it out. 

"I remember Mallory and her girlfriends giggling over daring to put someone's bra in the freezer or some such nonsense." Leo looked at her. "What about you?" 

"Oh, it's a favorite game." She grinned. 

The grin, he knew, was a dare. "Truth or dare, CJ." 

She blushed. He watched the color spread across her shoulders and could only imagine what it was doing to those beautiful, dusky nipples. When she whispered, "dare", the gamut of things he could dare her to do ran completely through his mind before he realized that she was betting that he'd forget his curiosity about the scar. Pushing aside the image of her walking around this place naked for the rest of the day, he just looked at her. "I dare you to tell me what led to you piercing your belly button." They both looked over toward the window at the sound of the siren passing in the distance. 

1988 

Berkeley, CA 

"I dare you." Toby grinned playfully. "Seriously, CJ, I dare you to do it." 

"You dare me to give myself a belly wound during the AIDS crisis. Have you forgotten where we live, Tobias?" She handed him a beer before curling back up on his ratty old couch. "I'd be lucky to not get infected. I just survived having my ovaries removed, I'd rather not have to live with HIV for the rest of my life." 

He snorted. "Chicken. You just survived life-changing surgery, months of chemotherapy, another surgery, and today is your three-year anniversary of being totally cancer free and you're going to not celebrate it. CJ, a belly piercing is perfect. And for gods sake it will take away from your griping over your scar." 

"Toby ..." CJ trailed off, listening to the sirens roll by. It was a constant thing, all day through the city the ambulances could be heard. People were dying left and right, the ambulances couldn't keep up with the calls and people died before help could come. 

"There's a place down on Castro street, come on. Jeaneane, really. It will be good for you. It will be a constant reminder that you're a survivor. This one thing didn't get to you. You've graduated from college when no one thought you'd even make it to your twenty-first birthday. Let this be your true battle wound." He stood up, walked over, and tugged her to her feet. "You've never been one to turn down a dare." 

***

2001 

Washington, DC 

Leo looked at her quizzically. "You ..." He'd heard all the words, and understood the meaning, but he hadn't pieced it all together. 

"I was an undergrad at Berkeley," CJ said softly. It was completely unbeknownst to her where these words were coming from, but if she'd learned anything over the last few months with Leo, it was that sometimes, there were no explanations. She looked into her coffee, remembering all too well the circumstances under which she'd wounded her body. "I was nineteen and dealing with a stressful relationship. I mean, I was in love with him but his family had problems with our relationship. And then, I thought I was pregnant. Well ... I wasn't." 

Leo tilted his head. "What do you mean?" The eggs forgotten for a minute, he walked over and put his hands on her hips. "CJ?" 

She sighed and rested her hands on his shoulders. "I wasn't pregnant, like I thought I had been. I had cancer ... ovarian cancer. It was in both ovaries. I was lucky they caught it at all. Anyway, all of it happened around the same time I met Toby, actually. And Toby, being Toby, stayed with me through my boyfriend going back to his home country, through surgery, though chemo, and through my entire remission phase." 

"Oh my ... Oh my god ..." He touched her stomach. "That's the scar?" 

"And here I'd hoped you hadn't noticed it." She sighed and toyed with his shirt collar. "Yeah. That's the scar. Toby was the one who talked me into getting it ..." she blushed, "We were ... talking ... and I was bitching about how bad the scar was and Toby talked me into piercing my belly button. He said that wound would hurt more and take away from the scar. He was right." 

Leo shook his head, "CJ ... I never knew, I never realized ..." 

"Yeah. I had a full hysterectomy when I was nineteen. And then more surgery after a round of chemo. It sucks cause I did want kids. Really, I wanted this perfect life with kids and a career and a perfect husband. And what happened changed it. Every time I even start to forget how lucky I am now, I just look down and there's this barbell in my stomach, reminding me. Toby was right, it does distract from the memory of the scar." She gave him a small, crooked smile. 

"You've been ... you've been cancer free all this time? Since you were what, twenty?" 

"No. It came back a few years ago. It showed up in the lymph nodes under my left breast. They caught it quickly, it was a simple surgery, a few weeks of chemo just to make sure, and I was fine." 

Leo stared down at her breasts, breasts that he'd worshiped since that night in Manchester. Gently, he stroked the side of her breast and then kissed her. "You really are amazing, Claudia Jean." 

She just rested her forehead against his, "Nah. I'm a woman with a barbell through her bellybutton." She stroked his cheek. "Make me breakfast, Leopold." He kissed her again before turning back to the waiting eggs and bread. CJ rested back against the counter, took a long sip of her coffee, and then asked, "Truth or dare?" 

It took a minute for him to process what she'd asked, but then he crooked a smile at her. "Truth." 

While CJ formulated her question, he walked back to the stove and finished preparations for the first round of French Toast. "When did you start drinking? I mean, heavily? I mean ..." 

1993 

Dayton, Ohio 

He didn't know where he was, but he could hear sirens. Sirens. Sirens. He could feel the cold of the asphalt, the rain against his back, but where was he? Sirens. He could hear sirens. 

The jungle. Keith. Kent. Mac. Jed. Jed. He could call. Jed. Jed would know what to do. Jed always knew what to do. He couldn't see his hands to dial, or the phone in front of him, but he knew the numbers. He could hear the ringing, the ringing, the sirens. Coming closer. 

"Jed ..." he whispered into the phone. "God, Jed, I need help." 

2001 

Washington, DC 

The sound of the siren lingered in his ears. "When did it go from something possibly recreational into an addiction?" His breath caught, and he felt the rumble of the jungle all over again. 

"Yeah, if you can word it like that. I mean ... I don't know how to word it. Was it always an addiction or ...?" 

"Do anorexics start out as anorexic? No, it didn't start out as an addiction. But it was after the end of Vietnam, officially. I mean, I came back ..." he sighed, closing his eyes for just a second and forcing out the droning sounds of the planes. "But when we pulled out in '75, I couldn't ... I just dove into the bottle. I started dealing with the trauma of the war, I was put on Valium to help me sleep and ... bam. I know it wasn't overnight, but that's how it felt. I'd come home from work and pour a glass of scotch and then another. And then I'd have one while dinner was being prepared and then a couple during dinner. And then, I'd work after dinner and before I knew it, it was a scotch at lunch, and then halfway through the afternoon ... I woke up in 1980 as an alcoholic. And it still took over ten years for me to get through it." 

CJ slid off the counter and moved to wrap her arms around him. "And you're doing wonderfully by it." 

"Really?" He looked over his shoulder at her. 

"Yeah." She smiled and kissed his nose. "And prove it by finishing that French toast. While I've had a little bit of protein today, it's not enough." 

"Is this the part of the conversation where I dare both of us to actually talk about what's going on between us?" 

CJ sighed and moved back to her coffee. "Probably. But can we just ignore it for a while? You're making French toast, a recipe that I love, by the way. And you've already given me one mind blowing orgasm today ... maybe we can just eat and talk and watch bad Sunday shows on CNN." She was as scared as he was, and the only thing that made it bearable was that she knew how scared he was. 

Leo nodded, agreeing. "Okay then," he put a plate of French toast on the table. "So where's the orange juice, and by the way, truth or dare." 

"We're still playing?" She poured them both glasses of juice. 

"If you want to." He watched her as she sat down. 

"Truth." 

"What did you really want to be when you grew up?" 

She chuckled, "What, do I scream of dreams lost?" 

"Only to me." He fought the urge to reach across the small table and take her hand. 

After a forkful of toast and a long sip of orange juice, CJ gave in and told the truth. "I wanted to be a figure skater. An Olympic and Worlds champion. I was doing triples by the time I was twelve and my coach was thinking and I was ranked, actually, with the junior skaters. I was going to be on the next Olympic team ..." 

"What happened?" 

"Well, after my mom died I didn't have as much time to train ... and then I took a nasty fall at a party and actually had to spend time learning to walk again. So, I rediscovered my love of books and graduated early and went to school and got my education and my coach went to the Olympics with someone else." She cocked her head. "Seriously, I got the better end of the deal." 

Leo did reach over to take her hand. "Do you still skate?" 

"When I can. I can still do a triple. I usually end up on my ass, but I can still do a triple." 

Leo chuckled and took a hefty bite of his own breakfast. "I can't skate." 

"That's okay." She giggled and dove into her breakfast. They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes before CJ leaned over. "Truth or dare, Mr. McGarry." 

After almost choking on his own bite of food, he reached over and stroked her left breast. "Truth." He wanted to take her to bed, make her scream, and move what they had from friends to more. Would she dare to ask him what he wanted from this? 

"How did you get involved in the party?" 

For a minute he couldn't answer. He had a pretty good view down her camisole and her nipples were right in his eye line. She knew exactly what she was doing to him. "Um, I ended up representing this Chicago Democrat who had screwed a lot of people out of a lot of money. I looked at what he was doing and thought that I could get involved with the party, that if I did, I could save the people that this man, a member of my own party had hurt. I could save the Democrats from themselves." 

CJ touched his cheek. "You're trying." 

"I am." He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her. All bets were off right now. It was just the two of them, and he knew how he felt about her. At least, he thought he knew. "Truth or dare, CJ." 

"Dare," she giggled. 

He thought for a minute and then grinned. Reaching for one of the strawberries, he touched it into the whipped cream. "I dare you to do what I tell you to do, no questions asked." 

Her eyes sparkled. 

Leo moved the plates back and lifted her onto the edge of the table. "Take off your shirt." She did, giving him that view of those perfect breasts, breasts that were now even more perfect in his eyes. He traced the whip cream across her chest, licking it off the whole way. "I dare you to lead me to the bedroom." 

***

"Oh god, Leo!" CJ reached behind her and grasped the headboard, arching closer to his body as he moved against her. "Oh god!" She crashed over the edge even as he kept moving and the added friction only brought her to a second, then a third orgasm. When he finally collapsed above her, wrapping them both tightly in the blanket as he adjusted so that he wouldn't crush her, she really didn't think she'd ever walk again. 

"Hmmm ..." Leo nuzzled at her neck as he snuggled against her. Even in the exhaustion of afterglow, he couldn't keep his hands off her body. Despite the fact that she was already marked - love bites on her shoulders, finger marks on her hips, he kept stroking, inhaling their combined scent. He liked to think that maybe she was the one he had claimed, but it really was the other way around. She'd had him since that night in Manchester, even if they refused to admit it to each other. "Tell me something," he asked softly. 

"What?" CJ snuggled back into his arms and caught his hand as it started to drift into the wet curls at the juncture of her thighs. She needed a few minutes before he got her going again. 

"Do all your games of truth or dare end like this?" 

CJ cracked up. "No. Sometimes they end with me bent over a chair and Josh taking me in ways that only gay men love." 

Leo didn't know whether to laugh or shudder at that mental image. "Oh tell me you are joking." 

"You'd think otherwise?" CJ rolled her eyes and turned to look at him. 

"Well ..." Leo began to move his hand again. This time he cupped her breast and teased her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. When CJ whimpered softly, he rolled her fully underneath him and took her nipple between his teeth, leaving his hands for further exploration. "Truth or dare," he whispered when he freed her breasts. 

"Dare ..." CJ moaned. 

Leo looked up and into her eyes, "Really?" 

She met his eyes and nodded, unsure if her response was coming from feeling playful or the fact that his fingers were sliding through her folds. But whatever he wanted to dare her to do, she'd do at this point. And when one finger slid further down and teased at her other opening, she just gasped. "You think that's a dare?" She whispered. "God ... the lube is in the bedside drawer. You are a dirty, dirty old man, Leo McGarry." He just chuckled and placed a kiss on each of her breasts. 

Leo had to take a minute to gather his heartbeat and his brain. She was willing to let him take her right up the ass, without a moment's hesitation. It was a favorite position of his, but Jenny had always hated it. He watched CJ roll over and he pulled one of the pillows down to give her hips something to rest on. After reaching for the lube (and two of the condoms he also found in the drawer) he just started slow, moving completely away from his intended target. Gently, he massaged her shoulders, her spine, her thighs - teasing between them as much as he could - and then finally, her buttocks. She rose to meet his fingers as he warmed the cool gel between his hand and her skin, she watched him roll one of the condoms down his fingers, and as he moved those fingers inside of her, she relaxed perfectly against him. It was clear she'd had experience with this, and had enjoyed it. And he didn't want to think about who that experience had been with. Leo moved his fingers, stroking, teasing, and with his other hand, kept up the massaging of her ass. She squirmed under him, and when she started to beg, he rolled the condom down his shaft, and replaced his fingers with his cock. "CJ ..." he moaned. "God, CJ ..." He bucked her hips back against him enough so that he could reach around and tease her clit while he moved. Despite his even strokes and his desire to hold on, this was the third time today and he just didn't have the stamina. CJ didn't seem to mind, and she crashed into orgasm at the same time he did. He waited until she relaxed before pulling out, and carefully disposed of the used condoms. 

"Wow." CJ closed her eyes a bit. Sex like this always hurt when it was over, but it was also always worth it. She was sticky from his cum and the lube and her own juices that were still dripping from her body, but she hadn't felt this good in a long, long time. "That was some dare." She didn't want to ask where he'd learned to be so good at doing that, but her morbid curiosity was getting the better of her. 

Leo chuckled softly as he nuzzled against her breasts. "It was." 

"Weren't we supposed to be watching news or something this morning?" 

"It's afternoon now." Leo laughed again and sat up a bit, propping his head on his hand. Gently, he brushed CJ's sweaty hair back off her face. "You are amazing, CJ. And I don't just mean in bed." 

It was getting serious again, and serious was something she didn't know if she could handle. She didn't even how she would handle tomorrow when she had to face him again, or how she'd handle it later this afternoon when they got out of bed and had to go back to just being friends. "You are too ... God ... Leo ..." she ran her hand down his chest, teasing through the light hair there. 

"What is it, CJ?" His fingers lingered on her face, caressing gently. 

"Aren't we just supposed to be friends?" She left her hand on his chest. 

The question, along with the look in her eyes, brought him down, completely from the euphoria of a morning spent in bed. He continued to caress her face. "I don't know, CJ. I know that I like the time we spend together, and I know that we are great in bed together. That's all I know when it comes to you." 

"Yeah." She sighed and moved her hand up to touch his cheek. "Me too. So, we're where we're always at with each other. We just wait and see?" Both of their attention was caught by the sound of a distant siren. 

"Yeah." He bent to kiss her, hungry and desperate to make the sounds of the sirens go away. "Feel like getting up?" His fingers moved to part her legs again. He really wanted her to just open herself up to him, to let him bury his memories and the future deep inside her. He wanted to use her as his excuse to forget about his meeting with Jordon, to put off his impending death in the world of politics. 

"Yeah. You uh, want to rinse off first?" She grinned as he looked down at her body, then his. She couldn't do it again, not right now. The sirens were too loud. 

"Yeah." He chuckled, kissed her again, and headed into the shower. CJ stayed alone this time, curled up under her blankets, wondering just where this was going. She didn't want to be falling in love with Leo, but she also knew that she was. Slowly, she ran her fingers up and down her scar, her lasting legacy, her constant reminder that she wasn't like others, and that she was incredibly lucky. She'd been cancer free again for just about five years; she'd reached the point where she no longer woke hearing ambulance sirens in her mind. The barbell moved back and forth in her fingers, the cool ball soothing to the touch, a reminder that she'd allowed Leo into her secrets, past her walls, and now, would she push him back out to sea again? 

***

She really was going to kill him. His heart was going to just explode. There she was, in a pair of flannel boxer shorts, a very worn Berkeley t-shirt, and her hair drying around her face. He stood up from his place on the couch and without saying anything, he pushed her back against the doorframe and kissed the breath out of both of them. 

CJ chuckled self-consciously as they broke apart. "I guess my attempt to look un-sexy didn't do the trick." 

"CJ," Leo murmured as he stroked the soft skin of her thighs, "You are incapable of looking anything but sexy." Her shirt revealed just enough skin at her stomach to show off the teal belly button stud he'd bought for her. Knowing the history now, knowing what she'd gone through for this and what she'd shared with him, made it even more intimate. He had something that no one else had – except for Toby, but that was a story he didn't want to think about. His hands moved up to cup her breasts and stroke her nipples and she wiggled under his touch. Sundays had never ended like this for them before. Before they'd always been able to hold back their passions, to play scrabble or talk shop or read aloud from favorite books, but today ... today that barrier had been broken, and he really didn't know if he could go back. 

"You look like you have to go somewhere," CJ sighed as they broke apart. 

"Yeah." He kissed her neck. "I have a meeting with my lawyer about my testimony. I can come back if you want…" 

CJ sighed and looped her arms around his neck. "Do you want to come back? We do need to talk ..." 

"Now you're the one pushing for ‘the talk?" He traced his fingers along her sides again. 

"No." She grinned. 

"When are your meetings with your lawyers?" 

"Every day." She shook her head. "But we're not getting into that conversation. I'll be here when you get back. I have the day off, remember." 

He chuckled and kissed her again. "I won't be long. And when I get back, we'll talk." 

"Okay." 

Leo moved to the door, gathered his jacket, and headed out into the late afternoon sun. He turned down the street, toward where he'd parked his car, trying to gear his mind on the meeting with Jordon, the hearings, and the problems with Qumar, but all he could think about was the conversation with CJ, the drinking, and the legacy that past had given to the Administration, to his family, and now to his career. Somewhere in the distance, sirens sounded. 

_To Be Continued ..._

_Copyright March 2006_


End file.
